Buried Memories
by Nekoblue7
Summary: When an accident took his memories, Edward realizes that even his feelings were taken away. Yaoi, RoyxEd, AU-ish, animeverse. Finally complete!
1. Fragments

**Title:** Buried memories

**Genre:** Angst and drama. You can find some romance here too.

**Pairings:** RoyxEd

**Rate:** mostly R-15, rated M for a lemon and mature themes.

**Warnings: **obviously yaoi, slight sex content, AU-ish and spoilers from the anime.

**Summary:** When an accident took his memories, Edward realizes that even his feelings were taken away.

**A.N.:** It's divided in three chapters. This time, I used an older Edward (20-year old) and the anime storyline without Ed traveling to our world; Alphonse is dead. This chapter is mostly in Roy's POV. I did some research on Wikipedia for the medical terms.

This Fic's **beta reader** is: **thoughtless dreamer** - thank you Jessie for your hard work and you absolutelly turned it one million times better than the original. :)

Please R&R!

* * *

**01**

"**Fragments"**

_When your past is filled with painful memories, anyone would want to forget. Edward went through much pain and suffering to bring his brother's body back, searching frantically for the Philosopher's Stone. They found it, but the younger brother sacrificed his own life to bring back his beloved brother from death. Unable to accept this, the older was going to give up his life again when the wheels of destiny began moving again. The Tringham brothers came to search for them, and stopped Edward before he could do anything._

_Meanwhile, far away the Flame alchemist was fighting against the Homunculus named Pride and won. Terribly injured, he received one more wound that would change his life forever; a gunshot to the face that permanently look away all sigh in his left eye. _

_In a hospital, they were put together. Edward was in treatment for psychotic impulses of self-destruction and Roy for depression after losing his eye. _

_After a traumatic recuperation, Roy and Edward realized feelings for each other that they struggled to keep hidden in the bottoms of their hearts. _

_Thus, a new life and a new beginning were started. _

* * *

_**Amestris, December 01**__._ _**Five years later**_.

_The wheels of destiny are moving again…_

Roy was in such a hurry--he was already late for some of his appointments that day. He was put in charge as the newest Fuhrer, and it was proving quite difficult to adjust. Meetings that were followed by, paperwork followed by even more meetings plus discussions concerning the country's future were only a few of his daily obligations. He was also busy handling his family, his husband and lover, the former Fullmetal Alchemist.

They had married under the new laws for homosexual couples, which legalized both marriages and adoption. It was clear that no one was safe from war, and the State understood that those who were left behind had the right (not to mention the need) to go ahead and live their lives with their new companions, be it a man or a woman. Edward wasn't exactly the lovingly type, but fervently disliked being alone for long periods of time. After all, he was an energetic young man and even hours of good sex weren't enough to satisfy him. That was why Roy let him help in the office as his personal assistant and direct subordinate.

The raven haired man parked the official car before getting out and opening the door for his consort. Edward snorted and grinned.

"You're such a dork in public."

"I'm the Fuhrer, delivering his spouse to the train station," Roy scowled. Ed knew that he was late… but it was like a ritual for them; wherever one is going, the other will be.

"I'll be back in three days… Risembool needs some assistance and I'm gonna visit Granny and Winry," the blonde teased, smiling up at the taller man, caressing his chest beneath his uniform.

"I worked _hard_ on you yesterday, and yet you're still hungry for more?" the dark haired man smirked as he took the blonde on his arms; he had always found it sexy to see Edward taking the initiative.

"Don't give me any ideas, pervert… or you'll make me miss the train," the younger man replied before he kissed him and grabbed his small suitcase. He stepped a few meters ahead before calling back "I'll call when I get there."

"I'll be waiting… take care," Roy smiled, his good eye following the blonde walking through the crowd.

* * *

Roy walked through the Headquarters' corridors, followed by officials and his administrative team. It'd taken him nearly an hour to get there because of a car crash on a main avenue. As usual, his appointments were sure to take up the entirety of his day, and once more he'd be going home late.

The raven haired man took a seat on his chair, his secretary coming up to inform him that General Hakuro was waiting for him. '_The bastard probably wants to talk about the conflicts with the rebels,'_ Roy thought sourly.

Said rebels were causing more and more trouble and needed to be stopped. Ishbalan immigrants had formed a militia, and had been attacking both civilians 

and members of the military simply for "the cause". They wanted the rights to territory in the east near Risembool to create a new, independent country. Ed was worried and had decided to visit his friends.

Roy glanced over the pictures on his desk. Ed was in each one. With no blood relatives around, the blonde was more than his spouse--he was his life.

"Sir?" the secretary called, startling him from his reverie.

"…Sorry, I was daydreaming…" he replied, placing a hand on his face, a sudden and awful feeling overcoming him, making him sick to his stomach. It was probably because of Ed's pancakes from breakfast.

"Sir, if you want, I could ask General Travis to take care of your appointments this morning…" she trailed off, blushing slightly.

"Pardon my indiscretion, but you don't look so good…"

"Thank you Sheska, it's probably just a stomachache…" Ed's culinary weren't the best, but he enjoys cooking for him—much to Roy's stomach's despair.

Suddenly, General Hakuro, accompanied by other officials, entered the office, interrupting them.

"Fuhrer!" they greeted him with a salute.

"We have an emergency!"

"What happened?" Roy demand with a sinking feeling.

"Another terrorist attack, Sir… this time was bigger than any previous attack, Sir," General Hakuro frowned.

"They attacked a civilian passenger train just minutes ago…"

"What was the outcome? Were the passengers hurt? Killed?" he ordered, standing quickly from his chair.

"Where was the train's final destination?"

"We're not entirely sure that the information we've collected is entirely accurate, seeing as the rescue teams only arrived just now, but we can estimate that there were at least a hundred people wounded, Sir," he paused uncertaintly, before finally finishing with "its final destination was Risembool."

"Ed…" Roy muttered to himself, dumbfounded.

"Your consort was one the passenger that I know was on for sure… but only one car was completely destroyed—the others were merely badly shaken… there's a very high chance that he survived."

Roy breathed deeply, forcing himself to remain calm. He was the Fuhrer, and as such could not run like a lunatic after Ed, as much as we might want to. He had to try and think straight. Many lives depend on him, not just Ed's.

"Who's in command of the team? How many officers were sent there?" he finally croaked out.

"Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong was sent with two troops, Sir. Firemen and hospitals have been contacted. Major Hawkeye is now talking with the press… And an investigation team is already there under Colonel Davidson's command."

"Send one more troop to keep any curious civilians away from the accident site. Call in those State Alchemists specializing in medicine to help… where did it happen?"

"The train was just leaving the city's urban perimeter, Sir; just four miles from the eastern district."

"General Hakuro, you are officially in charge of this case. Please keep me posted. Dismissed."

"Yes, Sir!" Hakuro saluted him once more before leaving the office with his accompanying officials.

At last, Roy allowed his hands to come up to cover his face, breathing in shakily as he tried to keep calm. Rage and despair threatened him to overtake his self-control, because what he _really_ wanted was to set the bastards responsible for this mess on fire for what'd they done.

'_Ed… he's fine, he's strong and smart--he's fine…'_ the man repeated to himself. He barely noticed the one remaining person in his office, his secretary.

"Sir… should I bring you some chamomile tea for your nerves?" she asked timidly.

"Thank you, Shezka. That would be very kind… but I need to ask one more favor from you…"

* * *

**December, 03**. Two days later.

Central was in chaos. Fear and panic were in every street, every house. The accident's final toll was 124 people wounded and 30 dead; but because the fire had charred the bodies to the extent at which it was utterly impossible for families to recognize them, a collective funeral was organized.

The press was hounding the State like dogs, hungry for any breech, any signal of weakness. The separatist group had made their participation in the attack absolutely clear and promised more. Besides his overwhelming obligations and duties, Roy still has one more concern. Ed had been found alive, but with a severe concussion and a broken leg. He was in coma for an undetermined amount of time.

Since the day of the accident, as soon as his daily appointments were finished for the day, he'd been there for Ed—just in case his husband woke up. Roy was all too aware of just how much he needed him, and was scared to death at the prospect of his blonde leaving him.

"Sir, you really should rest… its past midnight," a nurse came to tell him. He'd fallen asleep by Ed's bedside.

"Thank you… have there been any changes?" Roy asked wearily, gazing at the immobile blonde.

"Unfortunately no, Sir… perhaps tomorrow?" he knew she was trying to be gentle.

"Sorry Ed… I have to work tomorrow…" Roy held the younger man's left hand, feeling how warm it was. It was this clear signal of life that helped him keep faith. He caressed that soft hand and touched his wedding ring; the one he'd placed there three years ago. Ed's head was swathed with bandages, but for the older man, this didn't take away from the blonde's beauty at all. He cupped his pale cheek with his other hand, hoping this simple gesture could reach his husband, wherever he might be right now.

The raven haired man sighed and pressed a soft kiss to his warm lips. As he pulled away from the kiss, Roy felt Ed's hand stir.

"His hand moved!" he exclaimed, glancing towards the nurse in shock.

"I'll call the doctors," she said, quickly leaving the room.

"Ed… can you hear me? Please… come back to me… I'm begging you…" Roy murmured, squeezing the blonde's hand with his own and pressing it to his face.

Again it moved, and this time pressed weakly back against Roy's hand. The older man couldn't believe it. When Ed's eyelids stirred and finally opened, Roy's heart ached at seeing those amber eyes again.

The blonde whimpered, looking confused. Roy called his name, but something was wrong. Behind him, the dark haired man heard the doctor approaching.

"Edward, how are you? Does something hurt?" the doctor asked, swiftly examining the blonde.

"Ed…ward?" the blonde's voice croaked out at last.

"Can you tell me your name?" a frown formed on the doctor's face before he whipped out a flashlight.

"Please follow the light with your eyes," he demanded, moving the light before the blonde's eyes.

"My… name?" the young man repeated as his brow furrowed, seemingly pondering the question "….can't remember."

Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What about me? Do you know who I am?" he asked hopefully, leaning forward.

Again the blonde frowned.

"…I know… your face…" he began slowly, trying to sit up. The doctor held him down.

"Just relax, Ed—please don't move."

"Let me go! I don't know this place!" the blonde yelled, visibly disturbed as he tried to fight against the doctor's hold.

Immediately the doctor ordered the nurse to restrain the blonde while he injected a white substance into his IV, making Ed fall unconscious mere seconds later.

"What's going on? Why can't he remember his name?" Roy demanded the man.

"I can't say for sure. Tomorrow we're going to take a couple of tests and examine him again. He had a severe concussion, and it's too early to make diagnosis right now with what little information we have," he replied sternly, before adding "at least he's out of his coma."

"Please keep me posted…" Roy said, frowning as he regarded the sleeping blonde. He _couldn't_ have just forgotten everything just like that... surely this was just a temporary mishap caused by trauma; he was just struggling to retain his sanity, that's all.

He can't lose Ed. He refuses to lose the love of his life.

* * *

**December, 04. **_Three days after the accident._

Amber eyes curiously watched the people in white gowns examine him. Why was he was there in the first place, anyway? He couldn't remember how he'd gotten a broken plus an injury to the head. He'd seen the same doctors last night, but everything is so confusing… he can't even clearly remember who he _himself_ is. When he'd woken up after being sedated, those people had told him his name, causing some mixed memories to come back. There had been one with a pretty, brown-haired woman and a little boy, another with a suit of armor, and many more with a lot of faces; faces that he couldn't place names to.

He knew for a fact, however, that something very important is missing, because although his mind may have forgotten, his heart cannot.

"Alright, Ed, we finished all your tests for today—you can rest now," an old doctor said, but he only blinked lazily in response. His head was so heavy…

"Okay… but… doctor? Do I have any relatives? Where do I live?" he really needed answers, and couldn't wait.

"Well I know you're married, but I don't know of any other relatives you may have. Your home is at the Palace, where the Fuhrer lives."

"M-married? Who is she? Why do I live at the Fuhrer's house?" the blonde gasped in surprise.

"Why, you're married to the Fuhrer. Roy Mustang, the leader of our country," the doctor smiled.

"Don't worry about your memories, I believe that this is only a temporary case of amnesia… you should remember everything soon."

The blonde remained silent, trying to absorb all this new information. He was married… and to a GUY! Roy Mustang, he'd said… but…

This name was familiar.

He looked at the ring on his left finger and slipped it off. And lo and behold, the man's name was engraved into the golden ring.

Ed took a slow, deep breath in. Okay, so far he's discovered that… that he's gay…

Well, he admitted he _had_ found that one of the young doctors was rather handsome, and he'd felt slightly attracted. But could this Mustang guy be that important thing he'd felt missing?

The blonde was just nodding off when the door to his room was thrown open abruptly thrown, and a small blonde boy came running in.

"Mommy! Mommy!" the boy yelled, running toward the bed to hug him.

"W-what? I… I'm not-" Ed began, staring at the small boy in a slight panic.

"Alan don't run like that--and get out of the bed!" A tall, raven haired man scolded as he entered and…and…

And Ed couldn't BELIEVE how very attractive he was!

What he was thinking?

"Sorry, Daddy…" the small boy mumbled disappointedly, clambering down.

"…Just wanna see Mommy."

"I told you, Alan… his memory is a little fuzzy right now, and he might not recognize us," Roy said gently, pulling his five-year-old son close against him before looking up.

"Good morning, Ed… Are you feeling better?" he asked, gazing at the blonde sadly.

"I… I'm fine… But I don't understand… I know your faces but… I can't remember…" the blonde trailed off, frowning in confusion.

"I'm Roy Mustang, and this is Alan Mustang our—my son." Roy corrected. Perhaps Ed still didn't remember that they were married.

Immediately the blonde's cheeks flushed darkly. He had a son? How could that be?

"I'm sorry…" the blonde mumbled, averting his eyes.

"Mommy…" the boy pleaded.

"Alan… I'm sure that Breda can get you a big chocolate donut in the cafeteria… here, he's outside waiting for us," Roy said as he guided the small boy to the door where Breda relieved him of his child.

The raven haired man pulled a chair to Ed's bedside, trying his best to hide his aggravation—he was so frustrated with their current predicament.

"I was wondering… why does that boy call me 'mommy?'" Ed asked.

"We adopted him just a few months after our wedding… At the time, he was only two years old, and as far as it was known hadn't ever said a word in the orphanage. But when we first brought him home to see how he would react, and he saw you the first thing he said was 'Mommy…'" Roy sighed. The memory was still fresh in his mind, just as if it had happened yesterday.

"We tried many times to explain to him that you're a man, and therefore you're not _really_ a 'mommy' but…"

"He seems like a wonderful kid," the blonde said, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, he is. You've been raising him pretty well," Roy commented casually, but his heart was racing; perhaps Ed was remembering something?

"Me…? What have _you_ been doing, bastard?" Ed replied before frowning in bewilderment--why had he referred to the Fuhrer like that?!

"I'm sorry… I-I didn't mean that."

"'Bastard…?'" the older man repeated as he grinned.

"You _always_ call me that… that, and a bunch of other things, usually during… certain activities."

"So… what kind of relationship do we have…?" Ed interrupted him as he felt his cheeks burning again. Shit! Guys aren't supposed to blush!

"We're quite happy together… but like any couple, we've had our differences… Alan loves us both, and even _with_ my position and responsibilities, we manage to meet up often. In fact, you work with me, for me, in the office."

"I see…"

However, the blonde could not help but wonder why the life that this man is describing to him doesn't make any sense at all. He just couldn't imagine raising a child with another man. However, he does feel sorry for the child.

His mind was racing wildly… fragments of memories teasing them with their presence behind what felt like a wall. Gazing at the dark-haired man's face, one last memory came to mind; it was the two of them in a bed connected as one, in a pure manifestation of lust and desire.

"Are you ok?" Roy asked slowly, looking concerned. A black look had suddenly taken over Edward's face, and the young man was staring off into space blankly.

The blonde turned his head away, looking embarrassed.

"Y-yeah…"

"The doctor said that you can go home in another two or three days… Until then, I'll try to come here as much as I can. It's just, the State's in the middle of a pretty big crisis right now…" Roy said, glancing down at his pocket watch—his shoulders visibly slumping.

"I have to go, but Alan wants to stay with you so… I mean, if you don't mind…"

"Its fine… thanks, Colonel," the blonde answered, still looking away.

"I'm no longer a Colonel, Ed… Please, call me Roy." The raven haired man answered, leaving the room with a sad expression.

* * *

Later that same day, Ed found himself sharing his lunch with the small boy. The kid was really smart and very energetic, but this wasn't the child in his memories. Who was that woman with such a warm smile on her face? He tried his hardest to remember… still nothing.

"Mommy… you 'seems' funny," Alan said as he took a spoonful of jelly from Ed's meal.

"Funny? Whaddya mean?" Ed smiled.

The child remained quiet.

"What's wrong?" the young man asked, frowning slightly.

"Before hospital, Mommy always 'laughs' and talks lots…" the small boy said meekly, suddenly grabbing Ed's hand.

"Mommy, I love you, I'll be good, Mommy…" now large tears were falling from the child's eyes.

"Don't leave me… Daddy is sad too… I promise I'll do anything…" the boy blubbered, sobbing loudly by this point.

The boy's cries caught Edward off guard. Alan thought that he was being indifferent and intended to abandon him. His chest immediately ached at the thought, and he embraced the child purely through instinct.

"Uh, I'm s-sorry if I did something weird, okay? G-guys don't cry, so… chin up and don't worry about it! I won't leave you," Ed stammered out, hoping that it sounded even vaguely like something a parent might say. He felt so disappointed with himself.

"Mommy? Too tight…" the boy squeaked, from where he was being squeezed between Edward's arms.

"O-oh! Sorry!" Ed apologized, releasing him quickly.

"Mommy loves you too… " Ed smiled, caressing Alan's golden mane. What was this…awkward feeling? Why he's playing along with this child he can't remember just to make him happy?

And why does he care so much, to the point that his chest hurts?

By fate or, perhaps a twist of destiny, the answer to his question—as well as the thousands of others tumbling around his head—simply continued to elude him…

**To be continued. **


	2. The way you look at me

**A.N.: **Thanks for your reviews and for the ones who liked this story, this chapter is dedicated to you. The next will be the final chapter…

This chapter was spell-checked and beta'ed by **Amethyst-eyed-koneko**.

**Chapter rate:** R-15 for slight sexual contents and mature themes.

* * *

**Part 02 of 03**

"**The way you look at me"**

**December, 08.** _Seven days after the accident._

Cold nights alone bothered Roy now. He placed his arm on the empty side of his bed. He caressed the bed sheets, seeking some kind of comfort with the simple gesture. At least Edward was home. He'd brought his lover home this afternoon but he couldn't ask for more from him. Exhausted, Ed had had dinner with them and gone straight to bed…in the guest room. After all, they were like strangers. The way the blonde had looked at him, disturbed and _embarrassed, _hurt. It hurt a lot. Roy worked to the point of exhaustion every day just to relieve the family tension at home. Luckily his son, who was innocently unaware of the complicated adult concerns, didn't notice the dark atmosphere between his parents.

Fortunately, the State's crisis eased a bit. They arrested the rebels' leader the day before yesterday. That bastard would take a severe punishment for the attacks, especially for the latest incident.

Unable to sleep, the dark haired man slowly stood from his bed and walked towards the door. In the corridor, covered with shadows, he felt colder. He stopped in front of the guest room and felt the irresistible desire to go in and watch the sleeping blonde. Roy couldn't stop. His right hand was already on the doorknob… and turning it open.

A shaft of moonlight fell on the bed, exactly where the golden head was resting. Laying on his right side, the blonde sounded fast asleep. The blonde hair, splayed in a cascade on the pillow partially illuminated by the pale moonlight, was a breathtaking sight. How he'd missed that hair. For uncountable nights, the black-haired man had found himself awake just to admire the beauty in his bed. Even if the golden hair was sweaty from their intercourse, he'd always loved it and never allowed his husband to cut it off. They'd fought about it once but Ed gave up in the end. Roy knew that the blonde wanted to keep his hair but was too stubborn to admit it.

Roy stayed for just a few moments and left. For just a moment, he'd thought that nothing had changed.

* * *

A blonde-haired boy heard his father's footsteps in the corridor and listened until they disappeared. Even at his tender age, he'd watched his parents and noticed that everything had changed. Was it his fault? When he was younger back in the orphanage, he'd learned that if the kids are bad, the parents wouldn't like them. At only two years old he'd learned this cruel reality. His mommy Ed was so different from before. _She_ barely spoke during dinner. Alan decided that he wouldn't let his mommy go. Not again.

Little feet touched the cold floor and crept quietly into the corridor.

* * *

Back in his room, Roy decided to have a shot of whiskey and go right to bed. Hard work awaited him tomorrow. He walked to the small table just beside the fireplace and poured the amber liquid into a glass. He gulped down the bittersweet fluid and sat on the small sofa in front of the fireplace. This was Ed's favorite spot for reading. The black-haired man wondered if age had turned him mushy. Perhaps it was when the short blonde had entered in his heart.

Glancing up at the fireplace, he noticed a mismatched brick. Its color was slightly stronger than the others. He frowned and, moved by curiosity, pulled it just a little bit. The brick came out of its original place easily. Inside of the new hole, he found a book.

The dark-haired man leafed through the book and discovered that it wasn't a book. It was Ed's journal, handmade crimson leather cover with a flamel. But why had he never noticed that Ed kept one? With the enticing object in his hands, it was hard to resist but he didn't immediately open it. To invade his husband's privacy or not was the question. Perhaps it could help in Ed's treatment…

He sat again on the couch and opened it randomly.

_Today we did it again, in Roy's office. The perverted son of a bitch locked the door and quickly soundproofed the room. When I realized his intentions he was already pushing me onto his desk… _

Roy quickly closed it. Ed had written about their sexual encounters in his diary? He was in a moral dilemma. Should he read it and know his husband's deep dark secrets (it was a betrayal of Ed's privacy even if it was to help him) or should he ignore the diary and simply give it to Edward tomorrow?

_Just a few more pages won't make any difference. _

He opened the journal again, this time to a different place.

_Alan brought me a cat just like Al in the past. It left me so disturbed but I couldn't say no. Now we have a fucking cat. We named it Mona. Her fur is so black and she has yellow eyes, just like me. I wonder if Alan is going to be a second Al. Sometimes I see my brother's features on my son. I'm disgusting. His name was chosen because it has the same initials. _

Roy remembered this day. Alan had shown him the kitten after dinner. Ed's words in the diary left him stunned. The blonde never commented about Al after their wedding. He remembered he'd agreed to the name Alan because Ed had insisted so much. Now the man knew the reason why.

_I miss him so much. My family has been keeping me sane. When I look at Alan I can see my little brother again. He's a good smart kid. Roy is so good to me. He's dedicated and really loves me. I caught the bastard up early one day just admiring me sleeping. I don't deserve him. _

_My love isn't enough though. I don't know if I could do such the same thing as he. All that I can do is keep him sexually satisfied and happy while I can. He asked me the other day if I wanted to top. I answered that I liked his dick in me. I lied. I don't like or dislike. I'm just unworthy to be on top. That's all there is to it. In fact, I like kinky sex but I'm too ashamed to talk about it with the bastard. My sexual fantasies are reeeally too disgusting for someone like Roy. I'd like to have savage sex, to be beaten and bound. The more it hurts the better. What's the name of it? Hardcore sado-masochism? Roy would never understand it. _

The blonde's revelations were rather…unexpected. The blonde didn't love him in the same way? Could he be unhappy at his side? Why wouldn't Ed talk about his fantasies? They were a couple after all. The older man couldn't understand. He continued to read.

_Roy surprised me with a short trip. We went to Aquroya and spent the day fucking in the hotel room. It was pretty good. Lately he's been wanting to give me pleasure orally since I bled the last time when we tried without the fingers. I said that it was okay. I'm such a fucking masochist and I really don't mind if it is pleasuring him. Recently I found myself admiring the bastard during his naps. Yeah, I love that bastard more than…Al. I felt guilty in the beginning when I realized that Roy was taking his place on my mind. Sorry Al. I'm really a bad brother._

The black-haired man paused. That trip was their last vacation together. Since he had become Fuhrer they had never gotten another opportunity. Roy sighed and continued.

_Alan is growing so quickly! The little brat is my pride and joy but I would like to have more children around. Recently it's becoming impossible for us to meet often. Roy will probably be the next Fuhrer and I don't want to bother him with my whims..._

It was enough. He'd discovered that Ed had been sacrificing himself for their happiness and putting his own needs and wants in second place. It was so predictable. The blonde had done that before but why hadn't he noticed anything?

Roy covered his face with his hands and took a slow deep breath. He'd spent the last three years at the side of someone he hadn't bothered to know. He really was a selfish bastard in the end.

* * *

**December 09**. _Eight days after the accident._

A soft pull woke the blonde. Ed slowly sat upright and looked at his side. A small boy was curling up with him under his blanket. His mind froze. What should he do? Would his old self allow this boy to sleep in his bed?

His old self. It sounded so…weird. Yeah, perhaps this was a part of being Edward Elric Mustang. He'd had his memories ripped from his head in the train accident so he wasn't sure. He'd discovered a few things about his life but he was still in the dark. That important missed thing was still missing somewhere. The blonde wondered when this nightmare would end.

"Uh… Alan?" he lightly touched the boy's soft cheeks.

"Hum…" the small blonde boy moaned and turned his back to Ed "Wanna sleep s'more…"

The older blonde sighed. Children. When he was younger was he like that? He studied the child's face. He was so alike the other boy who appeared in his cloudy memories.

He heard a knock at the door and answered. The black-haired man, his husband, slowly opened the door and smiled slightly.

"Good morning. I see that someone came in here during the night." The man seemed unsure about what to do. "Do you mind if I take him?"

"No, I don't mind… but you can leave him here if you want to." Ed looked up to gaze at the older man. He was wearing pajamas and his hair was fuzzy from sleep. From the black shadows under his eyes he probably had had a rough night. Was it his fault?

"So… I-I have work…" Roy babbled. The amber eyes on him were so…unnerving "Olivia will be here in a few minutes to take care of you. You know, she's the nurse who will help you while you can't walk."

"Yeah. Thanks. Uh… Fuhrer… Roy?" Ed felt his cheeks blushing. Why was he always embarrassed in front of this man?

Roy seemed surprised and replied gently. "Yes Ed?" The black haired man was in fact screaming inside. The situation was so suffocating.

"What do we usually do in the mornings? I'm…at a loss here." Ed turned his gaze to the other side.

The charcoal-colored eye widened and a small chuckle escaped from his lips as Roy finally spoke.

"You always wake up early in the morning. We hurry to get Alan ready for school, for kindergarten. After breakfast together, we head out for work after we drop Alan off at school." Roy sighed. "Don't worry about it. Our maids can help you and you don't need to worry about work since you're wounded."

The blonde took some mental notes for the future. If this was his life, he better get used to it.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Hang on a minute." Roy left in a hurry and came back as quick as he could. "Yesterday I found this accidentally in our fireplace." He handed the book to the younger man. "When I figured out what it was, I thought that it could help…"

The blonde examined the book. It seemed to have some years of use on it. The leather cover had an alchemical symbol on the front of it.

"I'm late. See you at dinner." Again the black-haired man had that sad face.

"What about the kid? He doesn't have classes today?" Ed looked at the sleeping form in his bed.

"Since you got hurt, I decided that it was better for his safety to have classes here with a tutor until the crisis is over. See you later." The older man turned his back to him. He gave one last look back and left.

With no other option, Ed turned his attention to the book on his lap. He opened it and read the first page.

_Dear fucking diary,_

_I wonder why the fucking therapist made me write a stupid thing like a journal. It's so girly. It won't relieve what I did. I'm a damned sinner and don't even deserve to breathe. I tried to kill myself once by cutting my wrists and they brought me here with these crazy people. You won't bring Al back will you? Shit. I'm crazy talking to a fucking diary. _

_Since I've been forced to write something, I decided to give it a try. Why didn't the damned bastard receive the same advice? The Colonel was in a bad state too. I pitied the guy. Yesterday he woke up screaming in agony. He'd been shot in the eye. It had to have hurt like hell. It happened over three months ago but he's still having the nightmares. I stopped having them after just a couple of days. They were about the day I died. Fucking crazy, huh? I died twice that day. Roy convinced me – fuck you Colonel for your damned charisma – to talk about it and he slept by my side that day. I felt so…confident, protected for a better word. When I lost Al, I thought that I'd lost everything. Perhaps I was wrong. Two sinners relying on each other. Sounds good for an equivalent exchange. _

Ed paused and examined his wrists. Two ugly scars could be seen on both wrists. So, he'd tried to commit suicide. Why was his life so complicated? At least this amnesia had brought about one good thing. He couldn't remember his tortuous past. One thing left him concerned though. Who was Al? How had he lost him? When he was about to start reading again, he heard another knock at the door. The nurse greeted him and entered the room. The journal would have to wait.

* * *

**January 15.** A_ month and a half after the accident. _

Time passed quickly in the Palace. The New Year's commemorations had brought a calmer atmosphere than December. It seemed even terrorists respected the holidays. When Ed finished his diary, he discovered a lot about himself and his past. The memories of his childhood returned - his mother, Granny, Winry, Risembool. He even remembered Alphonse. This memory however reopened old wounds that were locked in the bottom of his heart. Sadness overcame him when he discovered that his baby brother died giving his life for him. He'd lost his appetite and had lost weight. But the feeling that something important was still missing kept the blonde fighting. His life wasn't only his anymore. He felt that everyone around had suffered with him.

Roy had been trying to manage his family and the State the best he could but even the Fuhrer of Amestris was only human and, like all humans, fated to weaknesses.

A scream of agony woke him up in the middle of the night. Ed sat upright and searched for the source. It was close to his bedroom. Had it come from Roy's room?

Someone opened his door and the blonde felt his heart racing. Fear seized his senses and scrambled his thoughts. He sat as paralyzed as a deer caught in a car's headlights in the middle of the road.

The lights were turned on and Ed recognized the black-haired man. The man was sweaty and pale and looked so…miserable. He'd barely seen the man lately so Ed hadn't noticed it before. Roy's pajamas seemed to be slightly loose. Apparently he'd lost weight too.

"S-sorry Ed… I know that is late…" the man talked with a faltered voice "but… may I stay here tonight?"

"That scream…was that you?" Ed didn't move. He felt embarrassed at the thought of having the older man sharing the bed with him.

"Yeah… s-sorry… bad dream."

The blonde thought that it was so odd to see the black-haired man so out of sorts like this. He'd observed the man during the past month. Roy always seemed to be so confident and authoritarian in front of the public, a dedicated father and gentleman at home, but never like this.

Ed sighed. He was married to this man after all. The blonde moved to one side of the bed and waited for Roy to take his place.

Roy lay down carefully and pulled partially the blanket. He was watched closely by the blonde. Ed noticed that the black-haired man was trembling. He'd read about these nightmares in his diary and the ways he'd used to comfort the man in the past. Sometimes he'd used sex. Sometimes just talking and cuddling seemed to have the same effect. He decided to pick the second option.

"Do you want the lights on?" Ed asked without looking at the man at his side.

"Yes please." Roy adjusted himself to keep some distance between them.

The blonde could hear the frantic breathing of the man beside him. A pang of guilt or perhaps pity reminded him that he should do something.

"Wanna talk about the dream?" Ed asked trying to keep his voice casual.

"This time was worst than before…" Roy took a deep breath. "I dreamed about Ishbal and the day I got shot at the same time." He turned his head to look at Ed. "Sorry for bothering you…"

"Nah… Don't worry about it. We're married aren't we?" Ed almost bit his tongue. This man's presence was so disturbing.

"May I hold your hand?" The sudden question startled the blonde.

"Y-yeah." Ed extended his arm out from the blanket and positioned it between them. This was an innocent request so why not?

The older man's shaking hands held his with a rather needy urgency. They were cold and slightly damp from distress. Roy closed his eyes and after some minutes seemed to be calmer than before. His breathing started to return to a normal rhythm.

"Thanks…" He'd whispered.

The blonde was surprised with his quick reaction. He turned his head and stared at the older man's face and studied his features. Roy was really handsome, even with the eye patch. Ed felt the temptation to kiss the man but it seemed so wrong. He'd wondered why this man had bound his life to him. The diary wasn't clear. The blonde thought that this was a good opportunity to find out.

"Um… why… did we end up together? Why did you choose me?"

A single eyelid opened slowly. Ed could see sadness there and something more.

"I think that when you love someone there is no reason, no rational explanation. I didn't choose you. I just…love you." Roy smiled sadly "and I thought that you felt the same…"

They remained quiet. The blonde was speechless. How to deal with such a situation? He REALLY didn't want to hurt the man's feelings. An idea came to his mind and, before he could think it through, he choked it out.

"Kiss me." It came out in a whisper.

"What?" Roy sat upright.

"I-I said… kiss me…" He'd said it. The die was cast. He bit his lower lip in distress. "I was wondering…m-my old-self was so…happy to be at your side. I just wanna know…if it's true."

"Just like a scientist… experiments and hypothesis. I see that this is a part of you you didn't lose." Roy grinned "Are you sure?"

"N-not totally sure." Ed felt a powerful feeling constricting his chest pushing him to do it. He'd killed people! Why the hell was he acting like a freaking teenage girl? How could this man relieve his sins?

"I'll go to the other room if you want." Roy smiled in an attempt to disguise his indecision.

"No! Stay…please." In the end that feeling controlled the blonde's body. He pulled the older man over him and attacked his lips. At first, the black-haired man was stunned but allowed Ed's hungry tongue into his mouth. They exchanged warm liquid passion. Their tongues sought each other avidly, looking for relief. Roy fought for dominance in that kiss, forcing his tongue into Ed's soft mouth, and held the blonde's wrists above his head. When they were finally satisfied and breathless, they stared at each other.

"I missed you so much Ed…" A single tear could be seen in his remaining eye.

A mix of surprised feelings and lustful desire were fighting their own battle inside the blonde's heart and mind. His mind was too numb to figure out what was going on. The amber eyes vacillated and Roy knew they weren't his lover's eyes. A month wasn't enough to revive his husband, still buried inside of lost memories.

"Let's go sleep…" Defeated and hurt Roy resigned himself to his half of the bed.

**To be continued.**

**P.S.: **Comments are love. :)


	3. Fire

**A.N.:** Final chapter! I made a trilogy because long stories are really complicated to update. In this third chapter I resolved the situation and hope that I did it ok. I wanted a mature Ed, an unsure adult, searching for redemption and unable to accept his own happiness at the cost of his younger brother's life. Now, the story comes to an end.

**Chapter's rate:** NC-17.

**Betaing by:** Amethyst-eyed_koneko

**Special thanks:**

**Thoughtless dreamer:** I loved your work, but for unknown reasons you couldn't help me anymore… anyway, thanks a lot for helping me with the first chapter.

**Amethyst-eyed Koneko**: you helped me a lot and I will never forget. Thanks, thank you very much! - If you want to work in other projects you're totally welcome. ;)

**Ed's_girl10310:** I don't know if you're happy with this story's conclusion, but thanks for reading my silly story.

**Mrawgirl09:** you've reading everything that I write… I'm really happy! Thanks and hope that this end can satisfy your request.

**Bar-Ohki:** I noticed that with this fic you added me in your favorites list, I'm really glad. Thanks for still reading my stories.

**Olivia: **I'm glad that you liked my story – don't worry about your English, I really do know how is difficult - thanks and hope that you liked this end.

**DN-lover: **Thanks and I hope that you could enjoy this ending.

You didn't left reviews, but you weren't forgotten: **Cruel Angel's Love**; **Funni-chan**, **Jack-Sparrow5**; **Edward4king**, **lishtar**; **Syao9**, and **neko-alchemist**. Thanks to you all and hope that you enjoyed this fic.

* * *

**Final chapter 03/03**

"**Fire"**

**February first**. _Two months after the accident. _

Violin chords and piano notes could be heard in the empty corridors. The music, romantic and beautiful yet somehow melancholic, played on an antique gramophone. Following one of the long corridors it was easily to find its source. In a large bedroom, a young man and his child were admiring their image in a mirror.

The delicate features of the man's face, soft pale skin, long silky blonde hair, and slim build, made the young blonde easily mistaken for a girl.

The child watched over the other blonde quietly and smiled in pure admiration. This man was his idol and the only _mother_ figure he had ever had. Biologically it was impossible, but from the bottom of his heart Edward was his mother in soul, even if Ed didn't remember that.

The older but not so tall blonde finished tying his necktie and looked at the results in the mirror. The fancy black suit and crimson shirt were in glaring contrast to his hair and skin color but he liked the combination of these colors almost as if they were second nature to him. He grinned mockingly and looked down to see that the child was staring at him.

"Hey, what's going on?" Ed smiled. During the past months he'd grown used to this child that called him 'mommy'. The kid was pleasant to be around and had lifted the sadness from his battered heart.

"Mommy is looking good. Daddy will like it." Alan smirked just like said 'daddy'. Ed wondered when he'd learned to do that.

"Huh… yeah… perhaps."

Tonight was the annual charity dinner for the orphanage and for the first time since he'd woken up from the coma, Ed was going as the Fuhrer's consort. The blonde recalled that night a scant two weeks ago and the kiss he'd given the black-haired man. Somehow after that night Roy seemed to be sadder than before. He just didn't get it. He was so confused. Kissing a man that you know you had kissed before but just couldn't remember a thing about was quite frustrating. The blonde had willingly kissed the man and it had felt _so good_. That kiss had trigged a fire that was sleeping inside of him and he had been burning since then. Ed felt his cheeks heat with the thought.

"Mommy is blushing!" Alan laughed.

"It's so hot here! This suit is killing me!" Ed changed the subject, but the young boy was quickly distracted by the repeated notes of the gramophone.

"It's broken…" The kid approached the machine and looked interested at the black disk.

The older blonde smiled and went to check.

"No, it's not. See the needle? Just change the position and the music continues. You can change the music this way too." Ed lifted the needle and put it in another place. "See?"

After some seconds it started to play a cheerful waltz.

"That's the music Daddy told you to practice. Mommy didn't do it." The boy frowned.

"Uh… my leg just healed two weeks ago and I'm still too clumsy to dance." Ed smiled sheepishly at the boy's reprimand.

"C'mon Mommy! Let's dance!" the boy grabbed the older blonde by his right hand.

"No, I'm not dancing even if it is for the event tonight" the young man frowned.

"But…" The boy's large puppy eyes were hard to resist.

"You little…stop it! Alright, just one dance." Ed sighed and, holding the small hands gently, slowly guided the kid according the music's rhythm.

In the beginning the boy had difficulty following Ed's pace but he quickly got used to it. The child's enthusiasm was contagious and the older blonde started to smile and share in the fun. The music ended and the blondes bowed to each other. The music that followed was a romantic ballad played by violin, piano, and bass.

"I'm going to get late. Bet your father is waiting downstairs." Ed looked at his pocket watch.

"Just one more, pleeeease." Alan begged.

Ed frowned but nodded in the end.

"Okay, just this once."

During their dance, the blonde's mind deviated. Somehow that music was so familiar and some cloudy memories came to his mind. Roy was whispering in his ear words of love and devotion. _I need you. I love you._ He was tightly wrapped in those strong arms, music filling the air.

"May I have this dance?"

Edward awoke from his daydream and was surprised to see the man in his daydream standing just a few meters from them. Roy smiled and extended his right arm in invitation.

"Huh… s-sure."

Alan moved to make room for his father and from the large bed happily watched his parents gaze at each other.

"Sorry for startling you."

Roy approached elegantly. He gently took the blonde's left hand with his right and his left hand held Ed's thin waist pulling the young man closer. The blonde gasped in surprise with the suddenly proximity and blushed. The black haired man guided them in a slow pace but the blonde was too rigid and tense.

"Please relax…" Roy's low voice was so sexy that relaxing was suddenly something Ed found hard to do.

When the black-haired man finally felt the blonde's body relaxing, he smiled. That night in Ed's room was the last time that they had had some time together like this. He was so disappointed with his inability to revive his husband that he hadn't tried anything new to bring Ed's memories back. The doctors said that the blonde was perfectly healthy and that recovering memories was just matter of time. Only time would loosen the steely grip of a barrier that Edward had created for self preservation. Time, however, was just killing Roy on the inside.

Ed glanced up to meet the single charcoal-colored eye. The man's face was serene but sorrow and pain could be seen behind the mask. It was the same type of pain that he had seen that night in his bed, the pain of losing someone. The blonde raised his right hand and cupped Roy's cheek. What on earth motivated him to do that he didn't know. It just seemed the right thing to do. Roy smiled fondly and leaned his head slightly. The blonde shyly touched Roy's thin soft lips with his own and opened his mouth in invitation for more. Roy accepted the invitation. The black-haired man wanted to ravish the blonde right then and there, but with his son's eyes watching them, he just kissed Edward and let him rest his head on his chest enjoying the warmth created between them. The music had ended but neither of them bothered to stop.

* * *

A blonde woman was taking her dog for a night walk just a few meters from the Palace. They crossed the street and Black Hayate snarled at a suspect group of men near the large mansion. He glanced up anxiously at his owner for her to check it out. Riza slipped her hand to the hidden pistol under her jacket and let her well trained dog free from the leash. Carefully from the shadows she approached them without being noticed, stopping in a nearby blind alley.

Inside of a black car someone was talking to the group. She tried to hear what they were talking about. The one in the car was surely a man judging by his build. He handed a package to the group and the car left the scene as soon as possible. He passed in front of Riza's hiding spot. The sniper's eyes easily saw through the darkness and recognized the face of General Hakuro inside of the leaving car. She frowned and wondered what the man was doing there when a suddenly explosion threw the blonde back into the alley. Black Hayate was anxiously barking. She stood as quickly as she could and went straight to the Palace. The front gate was on fire and the group was attacking the guards.

* * *

Roy was driving home earlier than he'd planned. Ed had become exhausted by the middle part of the dinner and they were forced to go home. Apparently the blonde wasn't quite ready to come back into the Fuhrer's busy social life. The event took so much out of him that he was fast asleep as soon as their car left the parking lot.

As they were approaching the Palace, the escort cars suddenly stopped because of a crowd of civilians, firemen, and ambulances in the middle of the street. Roy braked abruptly and looked ahead. The Palace's main gate was on fire.

"Roy?" Ed whispered groggily from the abrupt interruption of his sleep. The amber eyes widened in shock as they saw the mansion on fire.

The black-haired man got out of the car but a security guard quickly pushed him back into it.

"What's going on? My son is in there!" Roy yelled.

"We are going to check out sir. Please stay in the car for your safety." The man spoke forcing Roy to stay in the car.

"Sir!" a voice cried out. Coming from the middle of the crowd was Riza Hawkeye. She had an ugly bruise on her arm.

"Major Hawkeye! Tell me what on earth is going on here?" Roy demanded.

"Terrorist attack sir. They seized the opportunity when the mansion was unguarded in your absence." She glared at him "They are inside the house, sir."

"Alan!" Edward shouted and quickly opened the car's door. The blonde easily knocked down the guards that were trying to push him back in. Cold anger could be seen in his eyes as he ran in the mansion's direction.

"Ed! Stop him, Riza! Stop him!" Roy tried to go after his husband but the sniper and security guards formed a barrier around him. "I can't live without my family Riza! Let me go!"

The sniper slapped him.

Startled, Roy was pinned by her icy glare.

"You are the leader of this country, Roy, not a simple colonel anymore! Don't forget that!" she yelled. The crowd watched the scene in stunned silence.

Roy looked at the faces of each citizen present there. They were frightened. He took a deep breath and then smirked.

"Thank you, Riza, for slapping some sense into me."

He slipped out a pair of pyrotex gloves from his coat's inner pocket.

"I'm the Fuhrer of Amestris but I'm also the Flame Alchemist."

"Well said Chief!"

Havoc, Breda, Fuery, Falman and Lt. Colonel Armstrong were coming in Roy's direction.

"So, just like old times." Roy looked at them.

"Colonel Davis' troops just arrived. They'll keep the civilians out of danger." Lt. Colonel Armstrong saluted Roy. "My troops and I are going to catch the bastards, sir!"

"We're going with you. Tell Davis to set up a perimeter around the house. I want no one to escape."

"Yes sir!" the men saluted and followed their leader into the fire.

* * *

"Alan! Alan!"

He didn't know what had made him run into the burning house. His body just moved of its own accord. The blonde frantically called for the child from the middle of the hallway. Only a part of the mansion was on fire but the flames were spreading rapidly.

The smoke and heat increased the further Ed went eventually forcing the blonde into a bathroom. He quickly grabbed a towel and wet it. Covering his head with the wet towel he continued his search. The terrorists were nowhere in sight.

He reached the second floor and went straight to the boy's room. The blonde searched inside of the wardrobe and under the bed but the boy wasn't there. He then went to his room. Empty again.

When he entered Roy's room, he saw that the place had been trashed. He knelt down in the middle of the mess and found a faint footprint in the carpet.

"Alan, where are you?"

"Mommy!" he heard the boy calling from under the bed.

Ed went to the bed and pushed it aside. Tightly embracing a book was the frightened blonde boy. The young man pulled the child into his lap and hugged him tight.

"C'mon let's get out of this hell." Ed said and picked up his son but he was too heavy for him to bear. The reason was because of the book the boy refused to let go of.

"Leave it behind!" Ed ordered.

"No! This is my treasure!" The boy cried.

"No treasure is worth our lives kid." The older blonde grabbed the book then realized that it was a photo album. All their family's memories were contained within. He sighed. No memory is going to be left behind, not anymore.

"Hold on tight. I can't carry you with this." He grabbed the child's wrist with one hand while the other hand carried the heavy photo album.

By the time they finally reached the stairs, the flames had already consumed the first floor. Ed gasped when a large piece of the roof fell on their heads.

* * *

"Shit! It's all yer fault!" a tall man yelled to the other. "They're everywhere!"

The group of terrorists had left the house carrying any armament they could find. Hakuro had given them a good amount of money but their greed was beyond just money. Their presumed reason for being, the entire "Ishballan cause", was a lie. They had been created with the objective of destabilizing the government and forcing a new choice for the position of Fuhrer. In fact only a few Ishballans formed the militia. The major members were loyal followers of the old regime. Their plan would have been perfect if it hadn't been for the presence a certain Major Hawkeye in the vicinity. She had quickly called the military for help.

"Shoot 'em all! We're not gonna die here!"

The men positioned themselves on the backyard away from the fire and where the military wouldn't be able to catch them easily. They collected the heavy armament they'd found inside a storeroom and waited for the troops.

* * *

The smoke, dust, and the heat were suffocating. They were trapped by fire and debris. The roof hadn't hit them but now there was no way out. Ed headed back to Roy's room. He stopped at the bathroom to grab more wet towels to cover their heads. In Roy's room he protectively held his son in his arms. Alan was crying and sobbing in his lap.

"Don't cry kid. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

Somehow in the middle of all that chaos, Ed's mind was strangely clear. The fire and the danger triggered a sudden wave of thoughts and memories.

_I promise that I'm going to bring you back, brother. _

A voice echoed in his head, his own voice.

He could remember it now, the human transmutation. Alphonse lost his whole body that night.

They'd burned their house in Risembool. They'd assumed the risks, no regrets.

_Don't forget_

_3. Oct.10_

His silver clock, the one given only to State Alchemists. Roy was the one who told him to become one.

_Fullmetal… _

Roy used to call him that.

_Ed… I love you. _

_Me too._

The first time they'd finally let go their stubbornness and acknowledged their feelings for one another.

_Mommy!_

Alan's first spoken word. He was so tiny and quiet, different from the other children. When he'd approached the boy it was the first word that he'd said after the traumatic separation from his parents. They had been killed in front of the child when he was younger.

His memories were back. Not completely but he'd finally figured out what was missing. He wasn't going to let it escape again.

Edward stood and looked around. The blonde studied their options. Roy's room was on the second floor and the windows faced the backyard. He went to the nearby window and looked at the backyard. The fire hadn't gotten there. They had a chance. If there wasn't an exit, he would create one.

The alchemical equations were back in his head. The short alchemist clapped his hands and touched the window creating a door. He opened the door and was about to create a ladder to get down when he heard a shot and felt a burn on his left shoulder.

He threw himself behind the wall for protection and ordered Alan to lie down. He quickly glanced down trying to see who shot him. A group of men were there, some of them hiding inside the backhouse. The light of the fire was sufficient to reveal their armament and they were armed to the teeth. The blonde examined his shoulder and discovered that the shot had only scratched his skin.

"Mommy!" Alan cried, calling him. The young boy was horrified.

"Shit!" the blonde mumbled and went to get the trembling young boy.

Under these conditions he couldn't fight. The terrorists realized this and started to shoot randomly into the room.

* * *

Roy heard the terrorists shooting in another direction. His heart was racing in his chest. Perhaps they were shooting at someone in the house. He hoped that they weren't shooting at Edward.

Armstrong and his troops were going around the other side of the property through the neighbor's yard to catch them from the other side of the fence. Roy knew that the terrorists were in the backhouse since the Lt. Colonel was headed that way. He and his men were going to catch them by the front. He was grateful that Central didn't have many snowy days so he was able to use his fire alchemy to fight.

When the troops were ready, Roy spoke to the terrorists.

"Cease fire! You are surrounded!"

The terrorists responded with a volley of shots.

Roy signaled to the troops and the men moved forward. Again a new wave of shots was on their heads. Some soldiers fell to the ground. The rest continued moving forward. When they were close enough, Roy sparked his gloves three times hitting some of the terrorists while the soldiers took the backyard. Lt. Colonel Armstrong came from behind. After a nervous thirty minutes, the situation was under control. No amount of firepower could outdo the human weapons that are called 'State Alchemists'.

Roy looked at the mansion and noticed that the fire was taking the second floor. He noticed that his bedroom had gained an alchemically created emergency exit and was marred by many gunshot marks.

"Ed!" Roy shouted.

Suddenly an alchemical light flashed in his room and a ladder was created from the opening to the ground. A blonde young man carrying a small child in his arms came down the ladder.

Roy ran to them relieved. Tears were already falling from his eyes.

"Ed…Alan." He embraced the two blondes tightly. He didn't care if his men were watching him. He didn't care if Edward didn't love him or remembered anything about them.

"Roy… don't be such a dork in public." Ed smirked and coughed a little.

"Ed--" the black-haired man trailed off and stared at the blonde.

"I'm back. I still can't remember everything but I can tell that my best part is back." He smirked again and looked at the young boy on his arms "My best part is you two…" He looked up again "Let's get out of here. Alan needs a doctor."

Roy smiled and covered the two blondes with his coat.

The old mansion lay in ruins, years of history and memories destroyed with it.

However, even buried memories can be recovered.

**The end…? **

**A.N.: **I prepared a surprise: an epilogue. Please follow the next chapter.


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**September 06.** _Seven months later._

The Fuhrer and his consort were seated on a large couch looking at the newest photo album in Ed's hands.

"You've been taking photos like crazy. Lt. Colonel Hughes, I mean, Maes, would be proud of you."

"C'mon Ed…" Roy sighed "I have a beautiful family. I understand Maes now. It's funny though."

"Funny?" the blonde raised an eyebrow in askance. "Who are you and what did you do with Roy? Surely you aren't the bastard that I married years ago."

"Some bastards can change." He smirked.

"Speaking of that, I remembered the other day an old promise from years before the accident." The blonde grinned "You said that if you ever became a mushy old man that I can kick your ass in public."

"Some things should be forgotten."

Roy grinned and kissed his husband.

"Mommy, Daddy…"

Two little boys were standing in the living room's entrance. Roy and Ed looked at each and went to their children.

They carried the children to a large bedroom filled with toys.

The black-haired man put his son to bed. He tucked the small brunette young boy, who had just turned two-years old, into the linen bed covers. The sleepy boy yawned and smiled.

"…'night daddy." The child yawned again.

"Good night Liam." Roy kissed his adopted son's forehead and went to the next bed where his husband was already putting their oldest boy down to sleep.

"Not sleepy… mommy…" Alan was refusing to leave Ed's lap.

"Yeah, you are." Ed pinched his son's nose. The kid laughed slightly and yawned.

"Good night Alan." Roy joined them and helped the boy to get under the covers. He and Ed kissed his forehead.

The kid smiled "I love you Mommy, Daddy, Liam and Nina."

"We love you too. Now go to sleep or you'll wake your siblings." Ed waited until the boy closed his eyes.

Before the couple left the room they passed by a white cradle where the youngest member of the family was already fast asleep. Nina was barely a one-year old baby. Her hair was a beautiful shade of dark gold and if she was awake it would be possible to see her large green eyes. She was Liam's biological sister. Roy and Ed had loved the two siblings from the moment they first saw them in the orphanage three months ago.

In the beginning, Ed was pissed that Roy had read his diary, but now he was glad that the man had. They'd earned a chance to start over with no lies, no regrets, and no more secrets. They deserved to have happiness. For what the Gate had taken from him and for what life had given to him, he really deserved a chance to restart. Alphonse would be proud of him. His brother's last effort shouldn't be wasted.

Roy closed the bedroom door and walked his husband to their room. His hands were already on Ed's thin waist. He tickled the tender skin on the back of Ed's neck with kisses from behind as they entered in the nearby room. Quickly the black-haired man locked the door. The blonde watched his husband from the bed and smirked.

"They might come back during the night you know."

"Yeah, I do. But we're alone now and I'm horny you too…"

Roy crawled into the bed, lying above the blonde's body.

"Pervert… " Ed smirked and trailed a finger along the older man's collarbone.

"Are you happy?"

Roy asked this question every day. Even when he already knew the answer he would ask again and again.

"Yeah… so fucking happy."

Roy cupped Ed's cheek.

"I would do anything for you. You do know that don't you?"

"Shut up and fuck me."

The blonde pulled his husband in for a passionate kiss.

"What do you want for today? My fantasies or your fantasies?" Roy spoke almost breathless.

"Your turn. Last time Alan almost caught me blindfolded and naked in our bed…"

The blonde added in a sexy whisper, "but I can't wait too long you know."

Roy slowly slid his hand down Ed's abdomen to his groin. The hardening was fairly noticeable. Ed hissed at the touch.

"Already hard for me babe? Tonight you will be my bitch." The black-haired man smirked and stood, loosening his belt.

The blonde grinned not at all bothered by the names that Roy called him. It was all part of their role-playing. In that bed they could be anyone and be anywhere.

The black-haired man got rid of his pants and boxers. He held his limp member and looked lustfully to the blonde.

"Suck this."

Ed kneeled and held the still soft cock with his left hand. He looked up with a naughty smirk. When the blonde took him in his mouth, Roy moaned at the heat of that deliciously hot cavern. He held his partner's head and loosened the long blonde hair that was tightly tied up in a high ponytail. Ed bobbed his head up and down, quickening the pace to the sound of Roy's moans and the bucking of his hips.

"You're so good Ed…dammit…so good…" Roy gasped and moaned.

The blonde deviously looked up and took the whole member into his throat.

A final loud moan and the older man spilled his fluid into that hot cavern. Ed gulped down every drop of the salty fluid and rubbed his mouth with his forearm.

"Shall I strip for you? It'll cost you extra though." The blonde continued their role-playing and licked the older man's lips who was still enjoying the afterglow.

"Hmm, a delicious idea. You shall have your extra."

Roy grinned and sat on the bed. He'd never thought that the short blonde was so naughty, perhaps even more so than himself. They should have discussed this before now.

"Don't laugh."

Ed warned and started with his white shirt. He unbuttoned the piece of fabric teasingly, slowly and sexy. He threw it to Roy. Next went the pants, boxers, and belt. He played with the belt sliding the black leather against the skin of his flat abdomen. Pants and boxers off, the blonde grinned and pulled the older man from the bed.

He rubbed his hard member against Roy's bringing it to full attention again. The older man invaded the blonde's mouth, rubbing and twining his tongue with his own. He perked the blonde's hard nipples while continuing the steady erotic dance.

When they broke off the kiss, Roy trailed the blonde's jaw with his tongue, biting the sensitive points of his lover just to leave his mark. Ed would complain about it tomorrow but it was a risk he was willing to take. Yes, that body was indeed his property just as his own body was Ed's. He could hear the younger man pants and low moans like a lustful song, intoxicating, inebriating and so damned sexy. Roy wanted more.

Ed's hands were on his back, the cold automail shocking against his skin. It didn't bother the man. It was part of Ed and he loved the sensation. Now it was time for round two. He gripped Ed by his hair and pulled the blonde into the bed with him. The amber eyes were radiating a blissful passion. Their faces were so close that their breaths mingled with each other.

"Hands and knees."

Roy ordered and Ed positioned himself, always watching his lover with a steady passion. The older man grabbed the blonde by his hips and lifted that delicious ass for his delight. He laved the puckered entrance with his tongue making his lover gasp with the sudden contact. So sweet, he thought. Ed relaxed his entrance for an even deeper pleasure. The tongue fucking made the blonde see stars. He cried out Roy's name and moaned loudly. The older man rubbed Ed's aching cock and quickly brought him to climax.

Ed didn't collapse from the release. Roy knew that that wasn't enough for his husband. Ed just sat upright and smirked.

"Your cock seems to be wanting for more."

Roy rubbed himself and grinned.

"Top or bottom?"

"I'm your bitch tonight remember? I'd be more than happy to continue with what you were doing to my ass."

The older man gave a dirty grin and went to his bedside drawer. He found a half used bottle of lube. Ed was on his hands and knees waiting for him. He opened the bottle of lube and spread the liquid on his hand. He introduced a single digit and moved forward, waiting for the blonde to adjust to the feeling. Ed hissed and moaned, but as soon as Roy started he was rocking his hips for more.

The older man felt that he couldn't wait anymore and prepared himself for penetration. He introduced his aching cock slowly. The blonde gasped and moaned savoring and welcoming the burn of his lover's length.

He signaled for Roy to move impaling himself deeper. They found their rhythm and the black-haired man kissed and bit the tender skin of Ed's back. Due to Ed's height it was easy for him to whisper into the younger man's ears.

"You're so good, so tight…"

The blonde grinned.

"Big bad Fuhrer likes to fuck his hub's ass huh? Let me show you how to ride a Mustang."

The blonde smirked and pushed Roy to lie on his back. Ed sat slowly on the older man's cock. He continued their steady fucking, moving up and down while Roy kept him in place by holding his hips.

"I thought that you didn't like this position...ah… you got struck, remember?" Roy quickly added "I'm not complaining though."

"Some things need to stay forgotten." Ed leaned down to kiss his husband.

"I totally agree."

The black-haired man watched his lover. The long hair down his back was so beautiful, bouncing with his movement. Ed's moans and expressions were a unique sight that if possible he would like to capture on film. Perhaps he could convince Ed to do that someday. When they finally reached climax, the couple heard soft knocks at the door.

"Mommy… daddy…"

"Shit!"

Ed got off of Roy as quickly as he could. He cleaned up his mess and they started to search for their clothes.

"Alan, wait a minute. We're coming."

"Here, I found out yours." Ed tossed the pants to the older man while he was trying to put Roy's shirt on.

The black-haired man pulled off the soiled bedcover and replaced it with a clean one. Ed collected the clothes scattered around the floor and tossed them into a laundry basket.

"Ready?" Roy went to the door while Ed crawled under the blankets.

When the door was open, Alan was standing there rubbing his eyes and carrying a brown teddy bear by its arm. The child entered and went straight to their bed.

"Mommy, I heard a monster in my room. I want to sleep here."

Ed embraced his son and gave him a tired smile.

"Monsters don't live in your room."

"I heard it." the young boy quickly replied back.

"Come on Alan. Let's go burn these monsters into ashes."

Roy winked and took the young boy off to bed.

"Are you coming?" he asked looking at Ed.

"In a minute."

The blonde smiled and watched Roy and Alan heading out of the room.

He sighed and felt that everything was in its rightful place, except that his son was still calling him "mommy". He could fix that… someday.

_Wanting to spit out the jarred thoughts is_

_Because there's no other proof of my existence_

_My future that I should've grabbed hold is_

_Conflicting between "dignity" and "freedom"_

_Wanting to erase the distorted afterimage is _

_Because I'll see my limit over there_

_In the window of the excessively self-conscious me_

_There are no dates in the last year's calendar_

_Erase this depressed heart, this dirty lie _

_And rewrite_

_The pointless ultra-fantasy_

_The unforgettable sense of being_

_-Translated fragments from "Rewrite" by Asian Kung Fu Generation - the anime's fourth ending. _

**The end **


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